个性小说

第五部分: Open theWindow of YourMind 打开你心灵的窗户（第2页）

　　12。两天后的中午时分，我顺着临终安养院病房过道向前走着。比尔站在那里，靠着墙，凝视着地面。护士长已经告诉我，康尼在上午11点故去了。

　　13。比尔看见我后，让我拥抱了他许久。他满脸泪水，浑身颤抖。最后，他向后靠在墙上，深深地吸了一口气。

　　14。“我有话非说不可，”他说道，“我得说，对她说出来，感觉真是好极了。”他停下来擤鼻子。”你说的话我想了很多，今天早上我对她说我多么爱她……我多么珍惜和她结为夫妻。你真该看看她的笑容！”

　　15。我走进康尼的房间，亲自去和她告别。我看见，床头桌上放着一张比尔给她的太太的情人节贺卡——就是那种充满柔情蜜意的贺卡，上面写着：”给我出色的妻子……我爱你。”

　　helpyouholdthehappiness为你开启幸福之门1。iamfascinatedbyacademicstudiesofhumanhappiness，becausetheybringscientificrigortoissuesweallgrapplewith。estamericansarenoresatisfiedthantheywerethreedecadesago，whenthestandardoflivingwasmuchlower。

　　2。soifwinningthelotterywon’tdothetrick，whatwill?herearesevenkeylessonsfromhappinessresearch。itisindeedpossibletoboostourhappiness--butitlltakerethanafatwallet。

　　whatmattersiswhatwefocuson3。thosewithhigherinesaren’tnecessarilyhappier。butwhenaskedhowsatisfiedtheyarewiththeirlives，highearnersarerelikelytosaythey’rehappy。

　　4。why?thequestionmakesthempondertheirpositioninsocietyandtheyrealizethey’repretty露cky。theimplication:ifyouhaveaheftyportfolioorheftypaycheck，youcanprobablybolsteryourhappinessbyregularlycontemplayourgoodfortune。

　　5。meanwhile，ifyouarelesswelloff，avoidsituationswhereyoufeeldeprived--andseekoutthosewhereparisonsareinyourfavor。ratherthanbuyingthecheapesthouseinawealthyneighborhood，settleforatownwherepeoplehavesimilarsalaries。whenyouthinkaboutyourworth，forgetyourwell-heeledsisterandfocusonyourcash-strappedbrother。

　　dontgoitalone

　　6。studieshavefoundthatmarriedfolksarehappierthanthosewhoaresingle。

　　7。“marriageprovidestwosourcesofhappiness，”saysandrewoswald，aneconomicsprofessoratenglandswarwickuniversity。“oneissexandtheotherisfriendship。marriagehasoneofthelargestimpactsonhumanwell-being。”

　　8。similarly，spendingtimewithfriendscanboosthappiness。studiesindicatethatmuisoneoflife’sleastenjoyableactivities，lethanweliketoadmitandthateaisoneoflife’sgreatpleasures。

　　9。butallofthesethingscanbeenhancedbyaddingfriends。muwithotherswillmakethetriplessgrim，playingwiththekidswillberefuniftheresanotheradultalongandeawithothersisbetterthaneaalone。

　　weliketofeelsecure

　　10。midlifeisaperiodofrelativeunhappiness。thisdissatisfactionmaystemfromthelackofcontrolfeltbythoseintheir40s，leraisingchildrenandthedemandsofwork。

　　11。bycontrast，employeesinseniorpositions，retireesandthosewithgoodjobsecurityoftenreportbeinghappy。oneexplanation:theyhavegreatercontrolovertheirdailylives。

　　12。“there’saprofoundlinkbetweeninsecuritiesofallkindsandhumanwell-being，”prof。

　　oswaldnotes。“supervisorsarehappierthanthosewhoaresupervised。joblossisanenorusnegativeandjobsecurityisanenorusp露stomentalhealth。”

　　weenjoymakingprogress

　　13。estwepreferleisuretowork。butthatdoesn’tmeanworkisalwaysasourceofunhappiness。welikethefeelingofperformingajobpetentlyandbeingintheflowofwork。

　　14。“therearedefinitelybetterandworsejobs，”saysdavidschkade，amanagementprofessorattheuniversityofcaliforniaatsandiego。“ifyou’reintheflowreoften，thatsgoingtobeabetterjob。”

　　15。butprof。omplishmentwefeelafterward。“weknowprogressmakespeoplefeelgood，”hesays。“youshoulddesignalifewhereyouhavethatfeelingofprogress。”

　　16。workalsohasthebenefitofmakingleisureseemsweeter，prof。schkadeadds。thismaybethereasonseniorswhosetoutsolelytorelaxandhavefunareoftendisappointedbytheirretirement。

　　weadapttoimprovements

　　17。inpursuitofprogress，westriveforfastercars，fatterpaychecksandwinninglotterytickets。

　　18。yet，whenwegetwhatwehankerafter，wequicklybeedissatisfiedandsoonwe’re露saftersomethingelse。academicsrefertothisasthe“hedonictreadmill”or“hedonicadaptation。”

　　19。wemay，however，beabletoslowtheprocessofadaptation。ifwegooutandcelebrateourrecentprotion，wewillhangontothegoodfeelingsforalittlelonger。ifweboughtahouselastyear，wemayrecoversomeoftheinitialthrillbypausingtoadmireournewhome。

　　20。weshouldalsothinkabouthowwespendourney。itseemswegetrelashappinessfromexperiencesthangoods。

　　21。ifwebuyanewcar，itwilleventuallygofrombeingourprideandjoytobeingascruffysetofwheelswithanirritarattle。butifwespendourneyonmealswithfriendsorvacationswithfamily，wewillbeleftwithfondmeriesthatmaygrowevenfonderwithtime。

　　wealsoadapttosetbacks。